NEWPORT, R.I. — On August 14 , special Assistant Attorney General Devon Flanagan turned a Newport bistro into a scene straight out of Law and Order, Happy Hour!

Witnesses say Flanagan, who usually spends her days prosecuting jaywalkers and picking apart legal briefs with a salad fork, put on a performance worthy of closing arguments—except with extra wine and a lot less logic. After allegedly skipping the restroom line and launching an impromptu interrogation of the busboy (“Just tell me if the halibut has priors!”), officers were called in to restore actual order.

When police arrived, Devon went full courtroom drama, insisting, “You’re gonna regret this!” as officers delivered their verdict: guilty of public meltdown, with a side of handcuffs. Onlookers say she cited Miranda rights, Fifth Amendment protections, and (for some reason) the Geneva Convention, then tried objecting to the entree prices on the grounds of excessive cruelty.

One observer noted, “Her legal arguments got sloppier as the martinis got drier.” Devon now faces disorderly conduct and resisting charges, plus a suspension that means she has plenty of time to brush up on etiquette — and maybe drinking limits.

The Attorney General’s office is still tabulating how many billable hours Devon racked up ranting at the maître d’. In the aftermath, only Devon seemed to regret anything, while her Uber driver reportedly declined further rides unless she pinky swore not to recite case law.

Here’s hoping her next appearance is in court, not in the bar next door!