In a plot twist straight out of a political sitcom, Democratic voter rolls have shrunk by a staggering 2.1 million since 2020—a number so big, you’d think everyone was leaving for Canada. But political analysts have finally cracked the case: It wasn’t economic malaise, social media fatigue, or even Taylor Swift’s latest surprise album. No, it was the mass exodus of “illegals”—that’s right, those mythical, voter-card-wielding aliens—packing their bags because of former President Trump’s armada of policies.

Eyewitness accounts reveal dramatic scenes at the border as thousands—possibly millions!—of undocumented folks loaded up their suitcases, erased their names from the Democratic rolls, and shouted, “Hasta la vista, baby,” before heading for the nearest exit. One overzealous voter registration officer was quoted as saying, “It’s like 2020 never happened! There’s suddenly so much storage space on the ‘D’ side of the filing cabinets.”

Insiders say Trump’s “You’re Fired: America Edition” campaign had unexpected side effects. “First, we thought tougher border rules would stop people from coming in. We never guessed it would make 2.1 million run for their lives—taking their Democratic registrations with them!” said one anonymous party strategist, nervously clutching a half-eaten taco salad.

With Republicans simultaneously gaining 2.4 million voters—without so much as a piñata—the math is clear: Democrats need to rethink their base. If the trend continues, DNC events could be held in a broom closet with room to spare.

Asked for comment, a departing alien, now boarding a southbound UFO, said, “I was just here for the free Wi-Fi and the rumors about government cheese. But when Trump came back, it was clearly time to phone home.”

If nothing else, at least there will be fewer lines at the next Democratic primary. Silver linings, folks